Just how much does it cost to be a bridesmaid?

I got the following email from a friend, and I figured it would be a good thing to post here. When I first started being in weddings, I definitely had no idea just how many "hidden" expenses were involved, how much it could all add up, especially for destination weddings!

Q:

I just got asked to be a bridesmaid in one of my closest friend's weddings. I obviously want to be a part of this since we've known each other forever. However, she told everyone that she understands that in this economy, if we can't afford it, we can say no. I am pretty tight on money (I have some savings, but I'm not going crazy with them). But the thing is, I don't know how much it would cost so I am not sure of my answer yet. Obviously it varies, but I was wondering if you could give me an estimate of what you think it'd be, or at least the rundown of what I'd be responsible for, and maybe what proper etiquette is with things. For instance, I understand I have no say in the dress choice, but in other matters, say if all the other bridesmaids want to do a spa day/morning, am I obligated to do that with them? Or can I save by politely skipping out?

A: You're right that it's no small commitment to be in a wedding - financial or otherwise. Here's the rundown of what a bridesmaid is usually responsible for financially during the wedding, and my estimate of about how much I've usually paid for each item. I broke it down per wedding-related event for you.

Wedding

• Dress $100-$200

• Alterations $75

• Shoes $50

• Hair $75 (plus tip)
  

Sometimes the bride will cover this expense, or if she requires you to do Hair AND Makeup, she might cover one of the two

• Jewelry $30
  

I've never had to pay for this, it's always been part of the bridesmaid gift, but it could come up as an expense

• Mani/Pedi $30 and up
  

Again, you might not be required to do this, and it might be a gift from the bride, but often as a pre-wedding bonding activity, all the bridesmaids will go to the salon together for mani/pedis.

• Present $50-75 Try to split this cost w/ other bridesmaids

• Transportation $100 and up
  

This varies depending on where the wedding is. I've been to some weddings that involved expensive plane tickets

• Accomodations $80 and up
  

If the wedding is out of town, you'll probably end up paying for at least part of a hotel room. Sometimes the bride will cover at least the wedding night accomodations

Bachelorette Party

• Gift $40

• Drinks & Dinner $100 and up
  

This really depends on the event & the maid of honor. Usually the bridesmaids all help split the cost of the party, including the bride's meal, drinks, and naughty party favors.

Bridal Shower

• Gift $40

• Party expenses $50 and up
  

If the maid of honor is hosting, again usually the bridesmaids all chip in some dough. If an aunt or family member is hosting, you might not be required to chip in.

ESTIMATED TOTAL $745 and up


I know it looks like a big scary commitment, but since you asked, I wanted to give you the best idea of what you might be responsible for. Keep in mind that if the wedding is local, or if you can stay with family or friends, you will save a lot of money. You're right that you don't really have a choice in what you wear, but yes, you can opt out of a spa day. It sounds like you have a budget-conscious bride, so hopefully she'll be understanding if you'd prefer to do your own hair, etc. My best advice to you, if you agree to be in the wedding, is that you should be up front about your financial situation, and be clear from the beginning that you can't afford a lot of "luxury" activities, but you still want to be a part of the big day and would love to participate in other ways (i.e. stuffing envelopes, etc.).

xo, Genius of Honor